I think im going to throw up on grandma
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
