I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
