i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
