Screwed.edu
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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