so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
