the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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