I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
