If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
