Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Of course I have a pirate flag
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
