I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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