This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
