Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
