I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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