White coat. Heels.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
