Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
