belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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