Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
