Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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