so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
