fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
