When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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