It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
They took my balls.
I could fuck to npr.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
