So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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