making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
