Sry I called you an 8
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
