why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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