Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
