I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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