38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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