I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
