Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
