come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
