hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't think brook has ever known best
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
