erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
