Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm always down for nudity.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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