if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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