Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
