I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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