Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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