are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
