was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
