Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
