I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
