all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
