i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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