so explain again why im purple
no
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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