Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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