Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
