If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
