did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
