So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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