You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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